Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize