Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
