I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So apparently I’m into choking now
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
