Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just cropdusted the office
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
