I puked a lego.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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