He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i believe in u and ur pee
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
