i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
