i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
