Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
