break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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