Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
