I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
