I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
