I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
