Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
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No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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