Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
