Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
