It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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