i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize