but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
