Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize