Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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