Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
