you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
