it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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