i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
