Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
