i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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