if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
