There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How many fucks given?
0.12846
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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