Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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