seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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