I'm really into asian looking animals
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
