So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
