I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize