god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
