ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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