I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
