"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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