i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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