Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize