I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
