i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
