Have you finally orgasmed yet?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
