he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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