new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
