she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
