So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
