filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?