I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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