I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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