every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
