i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My penis needs a shock collar
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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