hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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