it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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