last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
